As of Sunday, I am in Liver stabilization and improvement month. Water and other things that will tell my liver that I am sorry for what I have done to it...
I turned 43 this week. 43 isn’t a landmark birthday, it’s not a milestone of a chronological significance. But it was a great birthday for me.
For the past 5 years or so, things have been going somewhere; building towards something. I think I am getting closer to whatever that something is.
Predetermination can be a toxic thing. I can’t begin suggest where my life is going, but I am enjoying the journey. It has an adequate amount of frustration and challenge, I have my social needs met in a pleasant way. I have financial sustainability, but not tremendous abundance. I give away my time to others, I am working on being a responsible parent when my children offer me the chance. My wife and I are above .500 when it comes to having positive exchanges.
I can’t say I am overly reflective about my life, I have had my bumps, but also my rally’s. Life has been that way for me. When I struggle, I have faith that it will get better, when it’s good, I am reminded that awesome can’t last forever, so I might as well embrace it. Beyond that, I just focus on the tasks that make the days move quickly.
In the last year, I have become more involved in my church. I have been less involved with my VW’s. My family has decided that it’s time to move to a neighborhood within the city limits. Work has been going well.
On Thursday, my Birthday Festival Weekend began with a nice hike on a beautiful day with my lovely wife. I did some work, then watched my daughter at her track meet. The evening ended attending “Red Green” in a one man performance. I’ve always liked the show, but I had a greater appreciation after watching him do 2 hours. It certainly isn’t culture in an impressive sense, but it was a great discussion about life in middle age.
Day two of the festival weekend began at 4pm and offered up seven hours of celebrating. I met my friends Jen and Sam at Left Foot Charley and commenced drinking Cider and eating olive loaf bread. I moved to a mustache party that involved birthday cake and pasta. The evening ended with cards.
As I get older, card playing has taken on a more important role. It’s social, and not athletic. I have been going to the gym, but it’s mostly to maintain energy level, and to stay flexible. Most of the people I hang out with are much more active. Joe, John and Russ (the card players) go on lengthy bike rides, actually most of the guys I know do this. I don’t. It’s on the list of things I need to get around to starting, but I am not ready. So cards are one of the ways (besides drinking as a social activity) that I can hang out with this group. The night ended late, so I spent Friday night in the guest room of Joe’s house.
Day Three of the festival weekend was a combination of more work and more play. My entire family went on a hike on a pretty Saturday afternoon. I also attended a party for another friend. More drinking and carousing.
Being with my family as a unit can be a trying experience. My wife and I get along great. I get along with my kids great, but there is a toxic mix when the four of us are together. Either my kids start up petty arguments, or one is moving too slowly, or no one can agree on doing the same thing together, or a variety of intolerances make things fall apart. Occasionally the stars align and we all get along. This happened twice recently; during our spring vacation and on this particular Saturday hike. It makes the struggles worth it, because each of us are at our best.
My friend Steve turned 40, and since our birthday’s are close together, we (me, my wife, Steve and his wife) have occasionally spend some time together. This year, my wife had another engagement, so I went to his celebration (at yet another local drinking establishment) by myself. When I am at social events with people whom I am largely not very familiar with, I get very uncomfortable. There is this self imposed expectation that I have be engaged every minute of the event. It bothers me, but I feel it also bothers the others. In this case I knew almost everyone, but only 3 well. I had to be aware not to cling to my close friends. I survived. It’s a challenge for me, largely because I don’t have the occasion to do this often, so I can never quite develop a sound plan for these things.
This evening ended in a same pleasant way; like the card game. A small group went back to Steve’s house and just sat and conversed. This is how I learn about people. One guy loved football, another in the group really liked television. Perhaps the most interesting discussion unfolded near the end when my head was cloudy.
Steve’s wife stumbled on to a bit of her childhood with “The Friendly Giant” and “Mr. Dress Up”. Since these are CBC (Canadian shows), most 40 something Americans wouldn’t know them. I grew up in Detroit near Windsor and she grew up near Vancouver and we were both big fans. This gave way to a conversation about the Canadian versions of Captain Kangaroo and Mr. Rogers. This revelation that someone else had this connection to these endearing characters seemed to make her night. It allowed me a glimpse of her I had never seen before, which will make the next social situation more tolerable. The visit ended, and I headed home.
I think that this year’s birthday festival weekend was so much better than in the past because it had so many people in it. Friends, family and new social challenges. My birthdays have traditionally been a combination of my parents calling to sing me happy birthday and my wife feeling badly about not planning something elaborate. There are also some cards to open.
This year, I had five people perform for me; my parents, my banjo mustache wearing friend Ann and a surprise voice-mail from my friends Lisa and Glenn. I had my family and all these friends to share the time with. It was a yardstick on my life and it measured up to be a pretty happy time for me.